You Were

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You Were My Angel From Above

You walked into my life,
When things were crazy.
During an internal fight,
Completely amazed me.

In this time of need I had,
You forced me to see,
The good and bad,
Showing who I’m meant to be.

Every day with you on my mind,
You consumed my heart.   
Now spinning around trying to find,
The pieces you pulled apart.       

I had a feeling,
Of being whole.          
Now a shelled being,
From carving this hole.

Moving on breaks my soul,
I miss the love,
Feeling out of control, 
Because you were my angel from above.

When Nothing Becomes How It Should

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Love is in the heart,
Pain is in the soul,
Somewhere in time we did part,
Now not loving whole.

I don’t know what the future holds,
It worries me everyday.
Our life untold,
Can love always stay?

Will our lost connection return?
Can we last for all time?
Or will our souls burn,
And no longer be fine?

This I think,
Each and everyday.
My heart sinks,
Not having a paved way.

This metaphorical ledge,
We have teetered for years,
Puts me on edge,
And causes many tears.

I fear the day will come,
When things crumble for good.
I fear we will be done,
When nothing becomes how it should.

A Moment in Life

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A moment in life,
Can change your mind,
Let go of the strife,
And give freedom from time.

It’s said to not search,
For things you hope for.
Just wait and perch,
To rid yourself of the sore.

Dwelling on the past,
Causes pains beyond measure.
Letting go at last,                                
Brings the heart and soul pleasure.

Life is what you make it,
Smile through the aches.
One day the bottom of your pit,
Will rise up releasing the agony that bakes.

Closure Brings Freedom
An example of a moment releasing pain.

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To Again Restart

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It’s hard to hold on,
It’s hard to believe.
When caring conversation gone,
And loving words leave.

Where did my love go?
Where is he hiding?
I miss him so,
And hate this fighting!

We once had something special,
Deep inside our souls.
Now lost and canceled,
We are opposite poles.

Is there anything left,
For us to keep holding?
Or do we forfeit,
And stop believing?

We once made others,
Wish to be us.
With four leaf clovers,
They begged for the rush.

Where did we go?
What has torn us apart?
I wish to know,
To again restart.

What Is This Thing Inside Me?

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What is this?

This thing inside me?

That prevents a feeling of bliss,

That prevents the feeling of being free.

It’s torture inside my soul,

It shatters my heart,

I just want to be whole,

And no longer fall apart.

A mass of anguish,

I wish to rid of,

A bundle causing parish,

Causing hate and not love.

From Where does this hurt flow from?

How can it release it’s hold? 

I don’t want to feel, I need to be numb,

From all this internal cold.

I wish I knew what was wrong,

I wish I could let it all go,

I don’t know where I belong, 

Inside could just explode.

The ugly feeling inside me,

Will not let go it’s grasp,

The pain causing an internal bleed,

Please no longer last.

Where Am I Going?

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Where am I going? 

My path is blurry.

What am I doing? 

My life is hurried.

I can’t see,

Only feel,

What am I to be?

What in life is real?

So many wants,

So many wishes,

My life feels like a front,

It’s burning into ashes.

What is life becoming?

It feels so surreal.

Why is it aching?

I don’t know how to deal.

How do I turn,

My life around? 

To rid myself of this burn,

And internal screaming sounds.

Agony From Within

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I want to quit,

I can’t handle this,

I feel so out of it,

I’m falling into an abyss.

Life out of control,

Nothing feels right,

I am broken and not whole,

I’m tired of all the fight.

Why can’t one thing go like it should?

I wish I new Why,

I wish it could,

Then I could for once fly high.

So tired of life,

So tired of pain,

So tired of strife,

Wishing freedom I could gain.

Just let me fall,

It’s what I deserve. 

If not, then what’s with all,

The the balls that curve? 

Let it stop,

Or let it end,

I will never be on top,

Of the agony from within.

Internal Ache

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Knock me down, 

Again and again,

Make me frown,

When will this end?

Exhausted from the downward spiral, 

I’m tired of the falling rocks.

At least for a while,

Can this just stop?

I need a break,

From daily life,

I don’t want to fake,

This endless fight. 

When will tribulations, 

Slow down?

Is it my imagination, 

That worsens my frown?

I hope to see things rise up,

And rid myself of the painful tiredness. 

I wish to only love,

I hope to feel happiness.

Continued pain and sadness flows,

Ignoring the pain just makes me shake.

Needing and begging for joy grows,

Please end this internal ache.

Eventually

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An empty space,

Carved from heart, 

A tortuous place,

Somewhere dark.

Many years,

This hole grew, 

Many tears,

Filled it too.

Looking for happiness,

To fill this void,

Nothing but sharpness, 

Cut deeper and toyed.

Fed up with pain,

Giving up the search,

Nothing more to gain,

Just wait now and perch. 

Many more years,

Are passed since then,

Many more tears,

Have fallen again.

Yet, time has changed,

To a different space,

Life rearranged, 

To a new found place.

There’s smiles and laughter,

There’s happy tears too,

There’s new things after,

And less days of blue.

Things in life, 

Always change,

Even the painful strife,

Even the rage.

Life is what you make it,

This is true,

Even if you fake it,

Eventually you feel it too.

I’m Blindly Holdin’

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I don’t know how to feel,
Night and day.
I don’t know what’s real,
Or what to say.

Emotions fill me always,
Yet, thinking of you are stunted.
I search daily in many ways,
I feel like my heart’s rusted.

I try and try, 
But cannot find,
I cry and cry,
But I fell behind.

Where do were go,
From this awful junction? 
How do I know,
If my heart still functions? 

You loving me,
Is times a hundred. 
My loving I can see,
Feels like it’s busted.

I never want to puncture your heart,
I feel as if I’m broken.
I never want you to fall apart,
I feel as if I’m blindly holdin’.